A husband was jokingly singing, “pyaaz baante chalo…pyaaz baante chalo” when his wife heard him. His wife screamed on hearing the song. “Are you crazy? There are no onions in the house. I haven’t seen them for some time and you’re saying ‘pyaaz baante chalo’. Stick to the original lyrics, ‘pyaar baante chalo’. There’s plenty of that, so share all the love you have”.
Strange ominous times we live in when love is cheaper than onions. While we all with our gaping mouths focus on the gold prices, the onion has stealthily come from behind and emerged the winner. It is truly turning out to be the tear jerker! So man, when your wife serves you ‘pyaaz paranthas’ instead of chicken curry, be sure that love is in the air. And girls, if your boyfriend has onion smell reeling from his mouth, you have a rich ‘bakra’ on our hands.
If Dale Carnegie had to rewrite “How to win friends and influence people” he would surely suggest gifting someone half a kg of onions to see the vibes change. We did that. Couple of years ago, in a similar ‘onion crisis’, Jaspal Bhatti paid his artists by gifting them onions instead of cash.
Till date their eyes go moist and their voices choke when the artists remember this overwhelmingly generous gesture. The onion is the new currency to love and happiness.
I also got very lucky by being the chosen one to be bathed in the splendor of this veggie. Some years back, when exorbitant prices of vegetables touched sky high, to the envy of all, I was gifted a veggies raani haar and choker by my husband, Jaspal Bhatti.
On seeing the gift all the chiffon clad, diamond, ruby and sapphire bejeweled ladies kept whispering in a jealous fit, “Bhala uske pati ga gift mere pati ke gift se achcha kaise…” Of course, their jealousies made a dent. As, fearing for my life and safety, I had to deposit the veggies necklace in my bank locker!
Well, my hoarding the veggies in my locker is a ‘chota’ crime. Our politicians do it so much better, at a very lavish scale. Their penchant for hiding their black money in Swiss banks has earned them universal praise. With the ‘pyaaz’ drama, they are showing their skills again in meticulous planning. When to hoard the onions, where to stash them, and when to release them is a highly skilled operation. And kudos to our governments for being perfect breeding grounds for problems to be repeated again and again with no solution in sight. People say ‘history repeats itself”. In India ‘the problem’ repeats itself. No solutions each time. Only probably a new set of jokes!
